OCD, the Dude, and Me - By Lauren Roedy Vaughn Page 0,1

akin to Catherine and Heathcliff’s, let me assure you that the truth is no such thing. They were raised in the lap of luxury; they fell in love in college and have stayed in love; and they both make tons of money. Their hearts have never been torn asunder. I think this is a good place to transition into the meat of the essay you are looking for.

I am adopted. My parents’ names are Doug and Evelyn. I don’t mind being adopted. I have no idea who my biological parents are. Most people know immediately that I am adopted because I don’t look anything like my parents. (Neither of them has a wild nest of red hair or thunder thighs.) My dad is a doctor and my mom is a successful real estate agent. I think about how she is a real, estate agent because she sells big houses to rich people. I could never be a real estate agent because once my clients saw that I had to lock every outside door at least fifty times after a tour, they’d never call me again. LOL, but it’s true. And, a doctor? No way. No one’s life should be left in my hands. I can barely do math; I couldn’t possibly tackle problems related to the human body. Makes me dizzy just contemplating it. (Btw, Ms. Harrison, if you want our essays to include the vocabulary words you are teaching us, you are going to have to allow me to italicize them. I cannot just let a new word blend in with my old vocabulary. Thank you.)

I’ve attended Meadow Oaks School since the ninth grade. This school (as you know) is for high-potential students with learning disabilities, which is a euphemistic phrase for kids who don’t do well in school in some areas but whose IQs are still fine somehow. We’re all smart, but we have various “academic issues” that require some specific help from experts. You know the deal. What I like best about this school is that since almost everyone is Jewish, we get off a lot because of religious holidays. My family is no religion, so I don’t have to go to temple or church on the holidays. Usually on those days I read.

I don’t have any brothers and sisters or any pets. I have a housekeeper, Martha, and I’m very grateful for her because of my “materials management problems” as you call it. “Materials management” sounds more like a major in business college than a personal problem. You can just say I’m messy. I won’t be offended; I’m not blind to the truth. My own mother tells me my backpack “looks like a cyclone hit it.”

My mom recently redecorated our two-story house to “reflect her aesthetic” of warm-colored walls and brightly colored accent pieces, but she left my room alone because clutter, scratches on the hardwood floors, and hats hanging on the wall are my aesthetic. People who love garage sales or go antiquing would love my room. But, don’t misunderstand, nothing in there is for sale.

My parents bought me a used hybrid vehicle so I can drive myself to school in a responsible way, but I have to pay my own car insurance. I get paid to walk the neighbors’ dogs up in the hills where we live, south of the boulevard in the Valley, and that is how I have money to pay for my phone and fund my snow globe obsession. Generally, I get snow globes whenever I go on trips, and I like the ones that have scenic or gentle images that are frozen in time. I don’t know why. I just do.

Teacher comments: If you have aside comments, please make an appointment to speak with me. Include only ideas relevant to the topic.

*QUICK JOURNAL #2* 9/10

Just talking myself down

Writing “my biography” essay at the start of senior year sent me into somewhat of a tailspin. I survived the first days of school by wearing the right shoes and hats and by avoiding any vulnerable contact with the pretty and popular crowd (Heather, Sara, James, John, etc.), who make being at school look so easy. But once I had to start writing about myself (even though I like doing that under the right circumstances), I suffered a case of vertigo. I had to lie on my bed under my T-shirts for a bit.

Here is my current loop of obsessive thoughts: 1. It bothers me to think about all the upcoming school events