I look around the room again as the teacher walks away, but there’s no place for me to sit. All the desks are taken, so I have to stand there with the whole class staring at me while I wait for Mr. Bishop to grab books out of the closet. It feels like it takes forever, and I’m sure there are girls in the far corner of the room who are laughing at me now. I ignore them until the teacher finally comes back.
“Umm, excuse me, Mr. Bishop. There’s no desks,” I say as quietly as I can.
He looks around and sees I’m right.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Give me a second while I go grab one from Mrs. Webb’s class across the hall.” He walks over to me and hands me the four text books to hold while he leaves the room. Now, I’m standing at the back of the class holding books that are so heavy I’m turning red as my arms start to shake. I know for a fact those girls in the front are laughing now, and so are two boys sitting right in front of me. How could this possibly start off so bad? Mr. Bishop must be taking his sweet time to find that desk, because I’m starting to sweat and my grip on the books is slipping.
“Oh my god, look how red she’s turning,” someone says, but I can’t see their face.
I try to hold on, but my fingers slip and the books fall to the floor. The entire class starts laughing at me like I’m a standup comedian, and I’m instantly embarrassed. Mr. Bishop walks in holding a desk, and he frowns at the class when he sees they’re all laughing at me and I have tears in my eyes.
“Hey, you all stop that, now,” he barks, and the class quiets. “Sorry about that, Alannah. I didn’t realize the books were that heavy. I guess I should’ve just put them on my desk, huh? That’s my mistake. You don’t have to cry, sweetie. I know being new is difficult, but once you get past this first day, you’ll be good to go. You’ll make friends, I promise.”
The first day is always the hardest.
Mr. Bishop sets the desk down and picks up the books for me. He puts them on the desk and gives me his warmest smile.
“Here you go, sweetie. Have a seat right here,” he says. My desk is in the very back of the class, and I’m the only one in my row. Embarrassing.
Everyone finally turns around once Mr. Bishop walks to the front of the class and starts talking. My life in Belleville, Illinois has officially begun.
The first half of the day goes by pretty fast. We had two lessons—one on math, and the other on science. Mr. Bishop talks like he’s in a hurry and has a lot of energy, but he’s really nice so far. I didn’t have to interact with anyone besides him, so my nerves calmed down after the horrible book incident. However, it’s lunch time and I’m walking in line towards the cafeteria. The walls in the hall are painted blue, white, and yellow—the school’s colors—and all six of the classes in this hall are going to lunch at the same time. Everyone’s talking, and the boys are being the loudest while the girls are being quiet because they’re sneakily whispering to each other. No one has talked to me, so I haven’t tried to talk to anyone else.
When we get into the cafeteria, which is really the school gym filled with tables for us to sit at, I’m surrounded by kids. Somehow, I still feel alone, though. As I look around and see things and people I don’t recognize, I feel homesick. The only place I can remember living is California, so everything here is new to me. Even as I take my seat with a tray full of things I won’t eat, I’m too shy and nervous to speak. Everyone else is so caught up in their own conversations and craziness, it’s like I don’t even exist. I’m all alone in a crowd.
Once we’re allowed to go outside for recess, I watch all the other kids in groups playing with each other. There’s a big basketball court full of boys playing everything from dodgeball to four square. There are girls with hula-hoops, and some drawing pictures on the concrete with chalk. The playground in front of me is a big field with swings