The illuminatus! trilogy - By Robert Shea & Robert Anton Wilson Page 0,3

It’s kind of left-of-center, so this was probably a right-wing job and not a left-wing one. But the interesting thing is that we couldn’t reach the editor, Joseph Malik, at his home, and when we called one of the associate editors, what do you think he told us? Malik disappeared three days ago. His landlord confirms it. He’s been trying to get hold of Malik himself because there’s a no-pets rule there and the other tenants are complaining about his dogs. So, if a man drops out of sight and then his office gets bombed, I kind of think the matter might come to the attention of the Homicide Department eventually, don’t you?”

Saul grunted. “Might and might not,” he said. “I’m going home. I’ll check with Missing Persons in the morning, to see what they’ve got.”

The patrolman spoke up. “You know what bothers me most about this? The Egyptian mouth-breeders.”

“The what?” Saul asked.

“That pet shop,” the patrolman explained, pointing to the other end of the lobby. “I looked over the damage, and they had one of the best collections of rare tropical fish in New York City. Even Egyptian mouth-breeders.” He noticed the expressions on the faces of the two detectives and added lamely, “If you don’t collect fish, you wouldn’t understand. But, believe me, an Egyptian mouth-breeder is pretty hard to get these days, and they’re all dead in there.”

“Mouth-breeder?” Muldoon asked incredulously.

“Yes, you see they keep their young in their mouths for a couple days after birth and they never, never swallow them. That’s one of the great things about collecting fish: you get to appreciate the wonders of nature.”

Muldoon and Saul looked at each other. “It’s inspiring,” Muldoon said finally, “to have so many college graduates on the Force these days.”

The elevator door opened, and Dan Pricefixer, a redheaded young detective on Muldoon’s staff, emerged, carrying a metal box.

“I think this is important, Barney,” he began immediately, with just a nod to Saul. “Damned important. I found it in the rubble, and it had been blown partly open, so I looked inside.”

“And?” Muldoon prompted.

“It’s the freakiest bunch of interoffice memos I ever set eyes on. Weird as tits on a bishop.”

This is going to be a long night, Saul thought suddenly, with a sinking feeling. A long night, and a heavy case.

“Want to peek?” Muldoon asked him maliciously.

“You better find a place to sit down,” Pricefixer volunteered. “It’ll take you awhile to go through them.”

“Let’s use the cafeteria,” Saul suggested.

“You just have no idea,” the patrolman repeated. “The value of an Egyptian mouth-breeder.”

“It’s rough for all nationalities, man or fish,” Muldoon said in one of his rare attempts to emulate Saul’s mode of speech. He and Saul turned to the cafeteria, leaving the patrolman looking vaguely distressed.

His name is James Patrick Hennessy and he’s been on the Force three years. He doesn’t come back into this story at all. He had a five-year-old retarded son whom he loved helplessly; you see a thousand faces like his on the street every day and never guess how well they are carrying their tragedies … and George Dorn, who once wanted to shoot him, is still screaming…. But Barney and Saul are in the cafeteria. Look around. The transition from the Gothic lobby to this room of laminated functional and glittering plastic colors is, one might say, trippy. Never mind the smell; we’re closer to the pet shop here.

Saul removed his hat and ran a hand through his gray hair pensively, as Muldoon read the first two memos in one quick scan. When they were passed over, he put on his glasses and read more slowly, in his own methodical and thoughtful way. Hold onto your hats. This is what they said:

ILLUMINATI PROJECT: MEMO #1

7/23

J.M.:

The first reference I’ve found is in Violence by Jacques Ellul (Seabury Press, New York, 1969). He says (pages 18-19) that the Illuminated Ones were founded by Joachim of Floris in the 11th century and originally taught a primitive Christian doctrine of poverty and equality, but later under the leadership of Fra Dolcino in the 15th century they became violent, plundered the rich and announced the imminent reign of the Spirit. “In 1507,” he concludes, “they were vanquished by the ‘forces of order’—that is, an army commanded by the Bishop of Vercueil.” He makes no mention of any Illuminati movement in earlier centuries or in more recent times.

I’ll have more later today.

Pat

P.S. I found a little more about Joachim of Floris in the back files of