elective I wanted to sign up for would be a brain buster or if the new Chinese restaurant in town had bugs in their food. And she’s usually pretty spot on.
“No problem. Are you thinking about leaving Tastie’s again?” Lila’s voice was muffled as she shouted out from the bathroom.
I put a healthy portion of lettuce in two plastic cereal bowls, quickly diced up the carrots and sprinkled those in, and shook the worn bag of croutons over the top. After smothering the salads with ranch dressing–– officially taking them from a healthy snack to a questionable one with the rich, calorie-laden topping–– I was satisfied. Finding two clean forks in our utensil drawer was somewhat of a challenge, since neither of us were big on washing dishes. After finally finding two, I took a seat at our two-person table shoved in the back corner of our minuscule kitchen and waited for Lila.
“Did you hear me? Are you thinking about leaving Tastie’s?” Lila came back into the kitchen, her face glowing and her blue eyes popping, even though she looked like she had no makeup on. I had yet to master the natural look like she could–– wearing two tons of concealer, highlighter, blush, shadow, liner and mascara, and looking like she had just woken up. Mine always ended up looking like clown makeup when I would put the effort in.
I dug into my salad, loading up my fork with lettuce and a crouton. “Yeah, just thinking about it, though. I’m getting tired of all my Friday and Saturday nights getting spent with sleazy guys. But the money is really helping me build up my savings account. I can’t live off Alicia forever.”
“I know, but look how good you’re doing saving money. You won’t be a waitress forever.”
“I wish I knew what I did want to be. How hard is it to figure out a career, especially as a junior in college? Shouldn’t I have this down already so I can stop taking all these electives?”
“Some people need more time. You’ll figure it out. If you don’t by the time I hit the high road out of this state, just come to LA with me. You could probably find a job out there in a heartbeat.”
“As what?”
“A model! An actress! I could get all the exclusive scoops on which designer you’re wearing and who you’re making a sex tape with next. We could rule the world out there together. Come on, Alex! What do you think? Sounds good, huh?”
“Lila, I won’t be making sex tapes with anyone in the foreseeable future. Or the unforeseeable future either, you perv.” I dug out the last crouton from the bottom of the bowl, crunching it between my teeth. “Besides, that lifestyle just isn’t for me. I don’t like being the center of attention. I would rather be behind the scenes.”
“What about a movie director? Or a screenwriter?” Lila kept firing off suggestions, and while I appreciated her trying to help, I knew it would never work. I was a painfully shy child growing up, always hiding behind my sister and keeping to myself. Our mother, Lisa Abrams, died when I was five, Alicia fifteen. She had been diagnosed with breast cancer and by the time the doctors found it, the disease was too far gone. She was only thirty-three. I didn’t have a lot of memories from her, just little snippets–– like the way her perfume smelled and how she loved being outdoors. I remembered that she used to push me around in a red wagon all the time, around the block or sometimes all the way down to the convenience store if she needed something. I missed her terribly, but sometimes I thought it was just the idea of a having a mom that I missed most. I didn’t know her enough to miss Lisa the person, but I knew I missed Lisa the mom.
Our father, Marcus Abrams, was madly in love with our mother. Alicia would tell me stories of how they would dance around the living room at night when they thought she was already asleep. How Marcus was the kind of guy who never missed her birthday or forgot flowers on their anniversary. My parents were high school sweethearts and married just weeks after graduation, welcoming Alicia eight months later. Marcus went a little crazy after she died, not being able to handle the grief. He tried hard to stick around and be a good dad, but left right