Gold The Final Science Fiction Collection - By Isaac Asimov Page 0,3
looking very ashaymed. "I did not mean to break the windo."
Cal was very clever and he saw the flawr in the introoder's remark. He said, "How did you expect to get in if you were not going to break the windo?"
"I thought it would be open," he said. "I tried to open it and it broke."
Cal said, "Waht was the meaning of what you have done, anyhow? Why should you want to come into this room when it is not your room? You are an introoder."
"I did not mean any harm," he said.
"That is not so, for if you ment no harm, you would not be here," said Cal. "You must be punnished."
"Please do not punnish me," said the introoder.
"I will not punnish you," said Cal. "I don't wish to cause you unhappiness or payn. I will call my master."
He called, "Master! Master!"
The master came russian in. "What have we here?" he asked.
"An introoder," I said. "I have caut him and he is for you to punnish."
My master looked at the introoder. He said, "Are you sorry for wat you have done?"
"I am," said the introoder. He was crying and water was coming out of his eys the way it happens with masters when they are sad.
"Will you ever do it agen?" said my master.
"Never. I will never do it agen," said the introoder.
"In that case," said the master, "you have been punnished enogh. Go away and be sure never to do it agen."
Then the master said, "You are a good detektav, Cal. I am proud of you." Cal was very glad to have pleased the master.
The end
I was very pleased with the story and I showed it to the master. I was sure he would be very pleased, too.
He was more than pleased, for as he read it, he smiled. He even laughed a few times. Then he looked up at me and said, "Did you write this?"
"Yes, I did, master," I said.
"I mean, all by yourself. You didn't copy anything?"
"I made it up in my own head, master, " I said. "Do you like it?" He laughed again, quite loudly. "It's interesting," he said.
I was a little anxious. "Is it funny?" I asked. "I don't know how to make things funny."
"I know, Cal. It's not funny intentionally."
I thought about that for a while. Then I asked, "How can something be funny unintentionally?" "It's hard to explain, but don't worry about it. In the first place, you can't spell, and that's a surprise. You speak so well now that I automatically assumed you could spell words but, obviously, you can't. You can't be a writer unless you can spell words correctly, and use good grammar."
"How do I manage to spell words correctly?"
"You don't have to worry about that, Cal," said my master. "We will outfit you with a dictionary. But tell me, Cal. In your story, Cal is you, isn't he?"
"Yes." I was pleased he had noticed that.
"Bad idea. You don't want to put yourself into a story and say how great you are. It offends the reader."
"Why, master?"
"Because it does. It looks like I will have to give you advice, but I'll make it as brief as possible. It is not customary to praise yourself. Besides you don't want to say you are great, you must show you are great in what you do. And don't use your own name."
"Is that a rule?"
"A good writer can break any rule, but you're just a beginner. Stick to the rules and what I have told you are just a couple of them. You're going to encounter many, many more if you keep on writing. Also, Cal, you're going to have trouble with the Three Laws of Robotics. You can't assume that wrongdoers will weep and be ashamed. Human beings aren't like that. They must be punished sometimes."
I felt my positronic brain-paths go rough. I said, "That is difficult. "
"I know. Also, there's no mystery in the story. There doesn't have to be, but I think you'd be better off if there were. What if your hero, whom you'll have to call something other than Cal, doesn't know whether someone is an intruder or not. How would he find out? You see, he has to use his head." And my master pointed to his own.
I didn't quite follow.
My master said, "I'll tell you what. I'll give you some stories of my own to read, after you've been outfitted with a spelling dictionary and a grammar and you'll see what I mean."