Gasp (Visions) - Lisa McMann Page 0,2

think you’re nuts.” He frowns as if he’s still considering that point himself, and puts his glasses back on.

I close my lips and press them into a defeated half smile, and just look at him, waiting.

Finally he shakes his head. “All right. Fine.”

I breathe a sigh of relief as Ben gets up and goes to the clean desk, muttering, “This is so weird,” and pulls a few newspaper articles from the desk drawer. He brings them back to us. “We can start here.”

Four

From the newspaper articles we glean nine names of students who were actually in the room at the time of the shooting. Ben jots down several more, and then he stops. “This is crazy,” he mutters, and looks up. “How do you plan to explain this vision thing to everybody without looking totally nutballs?”

“Very carefully,” I say. I actually haven’t figured it out yet. “I mean, I know I can’t go around asking them all if they’re having visions. But I was thinking . . .” I pause as an idea forms. Blindly, I go with it. “I was thinking that maybe we could call a sort of support group meeting for the victims to all get together and talk. And see if anything comes out of it.” I glance sideways at Sawyer, who nods.

Ben tilts his head. “That’s not a bad idea. We did a candlelight vigil thing outside the building a few nights ago for the whole campus, and there have been counselors around all week, but maybe I should organize a group with just the victims . . .” He looks at his phone, checking the time. “Actually, tonight would be good, since it’s been a week. Kind of like a bad anniversary.” He taps his finger to his lips. “I can get contact info for everybody. Can you guys be here at eight?”

“Yeah, no problem,” Sawyer says. “The sooner the better.”

I glance at Trey. “I think I can get Rowan to switch shifts with me.”

“She will. We’ll be here,” Trey says. He looks at Ben. “I can stay through and help you make phone calls if you like.”

Ben smiles. “That would be great.” The two hastily look elsewhere, like they’re sixth graders crushing on each other, and my heart pinches a bit—could my brother finally have found a nice boy to like?

“Thanks, Ben,” I say. “I mean it. You’re amazing for . . . well, pretty much everything.” I stand up, and Sawyer stands up with me. “I’ve got to get back if I’m going to take the lunch shift for Rowan. Let us know what’s up. We’ll see you around eight.”

Sawyer and I walk out of Ben’s dorm and across the ominous quad that haunted Sawyer’s waking hours up until a week ago. Now it only haunts his dreams. I look over the familiar grounds, thinking about last Sunday when we stopped a couple of gun-carrying gay haters from killing eleven people. “I hope they plead guilty,” I say in a low voice.

Sawyer nods. “Yeah. I don’t exactly want to testify.”

My stomach hurts like hell at the thought.

• • •

Five things I hate about my life:

1. Apparently there’s no end to this insanity

2. The tension at home is probably giving me an ulcer

3. Spring break is over and it pretty much sucked balls

4. I just realized it’s my birthday tomorrow. Tomorrow. Who forgets important shit like that?

5. It’s like things aren’t funny anymore

• • •

My lunch shift is boring and slow, and Rowan, under slightly heavier surveillance after her little escapade to New York, hangs out in the dining room doing her spring break homework that she wisely waited until the last minute to do. With everything that has happened lately, I’m surprised our parents haven’t locked either of us up or gotten suspicious, but they have their own problems, and my dad mumbled something about bad things coming in threes, so I guess with that attitude, he was sort of expecting Rowan’s delinquency.

The lull gives me time to fill Rowan in, which makes her even madder than usual that she’s missing out on something. I tell her for the millionth time that this isn’t something she wants to be in on. She disagrees, and we leave it at that. At five thirty we switch out, and I sneak outside to the alley and find Sawyer waiting for me. We stop for dinner and we’re off to UC once again.

We find Ben and Trey in Ben’s room a little before eight, Ben at