Fifteen Lanes - S.J. Laidlaw Page 0,3

through the tour of the ground floor (gym, pool and playing field), the second floor (offices, cafeteria and library), the third floor (humanities classrooms), the fourth floor (foreign languages and arts classrooms) and the fifth floor (science labs). Only when we got to the top floor, Fine Arts and Theatre, did I finally work up the nerve.

By this time I’d had more than ninety minutes to prepare my opening line. I was convinced it was the perfect combination of witty, yet sincere. I sidled over to her and waited until I caught her eye.

“Rockin’ goggles.”

That’s what I said. You can see why I wasn’t more popular, right?

She burst out laughing.

I couldn’t believe it. It was like a solar eclipse or a meteor shower. Not only had she understood my humor but she’d laughed out loud. No one had ever done that before, unless you counted my parents’ dutiful fake laughs or my brother’s bemused groans. But this was different. Tina laughed for real.

So Madison was right when she said I wasn’t interested in being her friend until I had no other options. There was even a grain of truth to her accusation that I thought I was superior. I did feel elevated. But I never thought I was better, just luckier. I didn’t care that Tina and I weren’t part of any particular group, or that some kids probably considered us losers. I never even thought about it. I had a friend, a best friend. I never wanted another.

Uppermost in my mind, as I dragged myself to the cafeteria on a Friday, the day after saying good-bye to my brother at the airport, was how much I wished Dad would get transferred again. I wanted to leave this school, these girls and this country. I wanted another do-over. I could see Madison and her posse at the usual table. There wasn’t a chair for me, though there was room for one. This wasn’t the first time this had happened. I suspected they got rid of empty chairs before my arrival, to discourage me. It worked. I was discouraged. I almost walked right past them to the library, but then I remembered Kyle.

My brother loves to give advice. It’s partly an inherited trait, being my mom’s favorite pastime as well, and partly his conviction that, with guidance, I, too, could become popular. It’s irritating and flattering at the same time. The night before, as we drove to the airport, he’d given me a final pep talk. Though I was mired in my own misery, one thing he said stuck.

“You don’t try hard enough, Gracie. You assume people aren’t going to like you. You’ve got to take more risks, put yourself out there.”

I didn’t state the obvious—that it’s a lot easier to put yourself out there when you’re smart, good-looking and athletic, like Kyle—because I knew he was partly right. My heart pounded with anxiety even when I was called upon in class to answer a question I knew the answer to. I hated being the center of attention, at any time, for any reason. Even at home I was happy to let Kyle monopolize our parents. He cast a long shadow, and I was content to hide in it.

With Kyle in mind, I dragged a chair from a neighboring table, dropped my schoolbag on the floor next to it and sat down. For the past week, Todd Baker, a boy in the year ahead of us, had been the subject of lunchtime conversation. Today was no exception. I did my best to look interested.

“He pretty much asked me out,” said Madison. “I’m just not sure I want to go.”

“What did he say—exactly?” asked Kelsey. You could tell she was trying not to sound skeptical. While Madison was undeniably the queen of our little group, her popularity quotient was nowhere near Todd’s. Not to mention the fact that he was a senior. I also thought he had a girlfriend.

“Isn’t he going out with Anoosha Kapur?” I asked, immediately wishing I’d kept quiet. Despite Kyle’s advice, it was rarely a good idea to join in their conversations.

“Are you saying I’m trying to steal someone else’s boyfriend?” Madison glared at me.

“No, I—”

“Or maybe you think I’m not in the same league as a girl like Anoosha?”

I hesitated. I’d never thought about it till she brought it up. Anoosha was really gorgeous, and nice as well. She and my brother had dated, only for a short time, but even after they broke up she always