lately. And asleep much of the time, too. I was grateful for it, actually. Nefrigar had a way of making me sleep without remembered dreams. That was most welcome. Otherwise, I might have been screaming or crying. I wasn't aware of how many days it had been since I'd thought about taking the dive into Baetrah. It was a few, at least. Nefrigar woke me to eat and bathe, let me sit for a while and if the memories threatened, he'd let me sleep again.
"I am taking you elsewhere, today," he told me. "A private place where you will receive very good care. Visitors will be allowed but if they upset you, they will be asked to leave. I will also visit often, and if you have need of me, send mindspeech. I will come immediately."
"Where am I going?" I asked as Nefrigar lifted me and carried me to the shower. I liked the shower; it was warm against my skin. I felt cold more often than not, although my Larentii warmed the air around me at all times.
"To a private clinic on Refizan, which will allow you to be alone if you want or to interact with others if that is what you desire," my Larentii replied.
"I don't want group therapy. I don't think I'm crazy, Nefrigar. Not that crazy, anyway. I just want the pain to go away."
"I know. We will attempt to deal with that, my love. You will not be locked away or restrained. I ask that you inform me if you wish to leave, however."
"I'll do my best," I said.
"May I have a kiss before we fold away?" Nefrigar smiled at me as he helped me dress.
"Yes." Larentii are always so warm. Like sunlight on a summer day. Nefrigar's mouth was no exception.
* * *
"This is Doctor Halivar," Nefrigar set me down inside a quiet, restfully appointed study. Several holographic diplomas were displayed on the back wall, while beautiful artwork adorned the others. The desk was real wood, something that most people didn't get nowadays. A lovely, hand-woven rug was on the stone-tiled floor and everything was tastefully decorated, if a bit austere. I figured it had to do with the type of patients the doctor treated. Doctor Halivar looked familiar, but I didn't think I knew him or had ever met him. I nodded to him when Nefrigar offered one of the chairs in front of the doctor's desk.
"Reah Nilvas?" Doctor Halivar consulted his deskcomp.
"Yes. That is the name I use most often," I said, nodding at the doctor.
"You go by other names?" His left eyebrow rose slightly.
"I have several aliases, through the ASD," I said.
"Ah." Doctor Halivar entered information into his deskcomp. Likely, the deskcomp was also recording the conversation, vid and aud, so he was making notes of some kind. It made me want to get up and see what they were, but I held back. I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate my curiosity in the least.
"I hope these records will be kept private," I said.
"I think sir Larentii there would separate my particles if I didn't," Doctor Halivar smiled. "This is just a preliminary meeting; I have a session scheduled with you later this afternoon. We'll talk more then. A room has been set up and I hope we have all your preferences correct on soap, shampoo and other personal items."
"I'm sure it will be fine, I've learned not to be picky," I said.
"You'll let us know if the bed and the accommodations are acceptable?"
"Of course."
"Good. Welcome to Sea Winds, Ms. Nilvas. Someone will show you to your suite now." Doctor Halivar pressed another button on his deskcomp. A nurse walked in. "Take Ms. Nilvas to the suite on the end, Ceerah," he said.
"Yes, Doctor. Come, Ms. Nilvas." Ceerah's voice was stiff and unrelenting. Somehow, she made me think of Ardalin for a moment. She didn't look like Ardalin, though. Ceerah was prettier than that, with dark hair and green eyes. I watched her closely as she walked down the hall while I followed. I still had my strength and my skipping skills, in addition to being able to turn. If Nurse Ceerah bothered me, she would regret it.
"This is pretty," I said, glancing around the spacious suite. Plexi windows lined one wall and provided a very nice view of the ocean roughly a quarter click away. I was on the second floor of the clinic and it looked more like an exclusive resort than a facility that treated mental patients.