A Cruel Bird Came to the Nest and Looked - By Magnus Mills Page 0,3

returned again to the beginning of the verse. And so it went on: verse and refrain, verse and refrain, seemingly for ever and ever.

The door was massive, and made from oak. Above it was a cast-iron fanlight. I turned the handle and pushed the door open. The music ceased. I pulled the door to and the music resumed, a little raggedly at first, but quickly regaining its former unison, taking up the anthem at the point where it had broken off.

I repeated the exercise, pushing the door open and causing the music to stop, then closing it once more. As the music started yet again I sensed I could not keep on interrupting them like this. On the other hand, I had no intention of waiting meekly outside. Accordingly, I took a deep breath, swung the door open and marched in.

‘Carry on!’ I ordered, in a breezy manner.

The imperial anthem had already begun grinding to a halt for a third time, but my confident instruction was enough to set it going again. I saw that I had entered a large auditorium. Down below me sat an orchestra about ninety strong, arrayed in a half-circle before an empty podium.

‘Good!’ I called out encouragingly, although I doubted if they could hear me any longer. The music proceeded unabated, and was now terrifically loud. I strode quickly down the centre aisle, then passed amongst the musicians and mounted three steps on to the podium. I turned to face them just as the refrain came to a close and the main theme was due to start all over again. When this moment actually arrived I felt my hair stand on end. We were off once more at full tilt, but this time I was in command! I looked about me. To my left sat row upon row of violins, violas and oboes; in front of me were bassoons and yet more woodwind; and to my right were trombones, trumpets, horns and tubas, as well as all the lower strings. Beyond these were ranged kettledrums, snares, a bass drum, a great gong, some bells and many other kinds of percussion. There was also a harp.

The orchestra played on. I soon discovered that all I had to do was wave my hands vaguely in time to the music, and they in turn would keep time with me. It all seemed very easy. After a while, however, I noticed that the musicians were not actually following my lead. Without exception their eyes were focused on a violinist who sat at the end of the front row immediately to my left. His chair was positioned slightly forward and turned at an angle to the others, and this allowed the entire orchestra to see him. Carefully, I observed his actions. I soon saw that he was hardly bothering to play his violin: instead, he concentrated all his efforts on keeping time with his right hand (in which he also held his bow). I continued watching in fascination as we charged again through the tireless anthem. At one point this violinist caught my gaze. I gave him a nod of acknowledgement and he returned the gesture deferentially. He appeared to have the orchestra under his total control.

Nonetheless I was their supreme leader by appointment, so I went on ‘conducting’ in my own style for several more rounds of music. At the same time I took the opportunity to appraise my new charges, if only broadly. They were all dressed in the imperial livery: frock coats of black velvet with scarlet frogging, and black breeches. These outfits, I noted, were spotlessly clean but rather threadbare. Their boots were black with brass buckles. The violinist on my left was attired no differently from his colleagues. They were all playing without scores on their music stands, presumably because the anthem was quite familiar to each of them. A painstaking count told me that there were ninety-eight musicians altogether. Standing nearby, unused, was a piano.

At last I decided it was time for a break. Only then did it occur to me that I had no idea how to stop them. I ceased waving my hands but nothing happened; likewise when I clapped them together. The orchestra just kept on going, such was their level of absorption. Fortunately, the ‘lead’ violinist seemed to understand my dilemma because suddenly, at a signal from him, the music came to an abrupt halt. Then, to my surprise, they all rose to their feet and bowed to me.

An awkward