Confessions of a Call Center Gal - By Lisa Lim Page 0,1

happily watching the tube. And we never fought over the remote because we watched all of the same shows.

All of them.

That is a bond that we share ‘til today. Even though we’re miles apart, we still watch the same TV shows...and gaze at the same moon, of course.

“So what do you say, Maddy?” Karsynn prodded, summoning me from my thoughts.

“Well,” I hesitated, “why don’t you come visit me in Chicago?”

“I’m broke,” she whined.

“I’m broke too.”

“Well, I’m broke-r,” she retorted.

After briefly mulling it over, I folded. “Oh, okay. I’ll come out and see you.”

“Yes! You could sound a little more excited, you know. Don’t you miss me?”

I smiled in spite of myself, missing her already. “I do.”

The very next day, I packed up my bags, loaded up my relic of a Subaru and clunked it clear across the country to her hometown of Pocatello, Idaho.

And I haven’t left because I’ve scored a job interview!

Holy Crappity Cripes! Believe it or not, there are jobs in this Godforsaken place.

Karsynn’s mom, Janis, works at a call center for Lightning Speed Communications. It’s a DSL and cell phone provider, which gives it a double-edged sword, and when Janis informed us that her company was hiring, our jaws literally dropped.

Eventually, I managed, “But Miss Higginbotham, with the economy like this, most companies are cutting back. And they’re certainly not hiring.”

Janis patted my knee in a motherly fashion. “Well, sugar, no matter how bad the economy is, and no matter how broke folks are, they will always feel like they need their cell phones and their high speed internet access. Even janitors have cell phones. Heck, I even have one, and I’m broke. Anyway, they’re hiring customer service reps. Pay starts at twelve dollars per hour, and you can apply on their website. And don’t forget to put me down as a referral so I’ll get my five hundred bucks.”

Fast forward to present—Lightning Speed Communications is where I shall have my first job interview.

And that is why I’m still stuck here in The Valley of Potatoes.

Tweedle dee, tweedle dum, I’m twiddling my thumbs, eyeing the life-sized poster on the wall, emblazoned with a mustard yellow lightning rod, which I presume to be the company’s logo.

The caption reads: Lightning Speed Communications, Because Speed Matters.

Leaning back against the club chair, I anxiously await my name to be called.

Last night, Karsynn and I burned the midnight oil prepping for this interview by googling sample interview Questions and Answers, and I’m feeling pretty confident because I know exactly what they’ll ask me:

1) What are your strengths?

I’ll give an answer that mentions these essential key words: team player, excellent communication skills, multi-tasker, learn on the fly, dedicated and motivated.

2) What are your weaknesses?

Easy. I’ll give some lame lie about how I’m such a perfectionist, that I must always go back and double check my work to make sure everything looks perfect. I know—lame.

But then Kars and I decided that the both of us can’t give the same answer. So we came up with a solution. Karsynn’s answer will run somewhere along these lines:

“Well, I used to have a problem saying ‘no’ to people. Now, however, I prioritize my days, thus allowing my excellent time management skills dictate when I can truly say ‘yes’ or ‘no’.”

Isn’t that brilliant?

Easy peasy. Kars and I are going to nail this interview.

Abruptly, a stout, squat man sporting a military buzz cut emerges from the conference room.

He glances down at his note pad. “Miss Madison Lee?”

That’s me, that’s me!My heart pounds and my stomach lurches.

Karsynn shrieks, “That’s you, that’s you!”

Leaping to my feet, I smooth down the wrinkles on my skirt and step forward. “Hi, I’m Maddy.” I thrust my hand forward and eyeball him.

“Victor Petraeus,” he replies in a stern and detached manner.

“Nice to meet you, Victor.” I pump his hand heartily.

Hah! Let there be no mistake that I give weak, wet-fish handshakes. Research has revealed that a firm handshake is the key to an interview’s success, as it sets the tone for the rest of the interview. That and constant eye contact are essential, hence, the eyeballing.

Awkwardly, he extracts his hand from my deathly grip and gestures. “Right this way, Miss Lee.”

So far so good.

I trot into the conference room and hear the door click shut behind me. After a brief and polite banter about things I can’t remember, he whips out a thick binder and gets right down to business. “Okay, Miss Lee, let’s get started.” He clears his throat. “Describe a situation in which