CHERUB: Man vs Beast - Robert Muchamore Page 0,2

as well and sher sprawled out in her chair, slipped her feet out of her sandals and rested her ankles across James?lap.

She could have put her feet on one of the empty chairs at the next table, but she hadn't and James appreciated the affectionate gesture. It meant Kerry was in a good mood and with luck theyr be heading upstairs for snogging and homework once their food settled.

Shak sat on James?right and took a quick glance at Kerryt feet. Tour feet're really small. Kerry. What size shoe do you take??

Eize two.?

Shak nodded. T found out why women have smaller feet than men the other day.?

Kerry looked baffled. Mn average, women are smaller than men all over.?

Tho wants to know why women have smaller feet than men??Shak asked, breaking into a grin.

The kids around the table didn't look enthusiastic.

Ts this another one of your lame jokes??Bruce asked.

Shak grinned. My jokes are quality.?

Everyone except Shak either spluttered or shook their heads.

Callum summed up the mood. Tf you say so, dude.?

Mine, if you don't want to hear it

Bruce tutted. Tell us the stupid joke, Shak. Otherwise weEl never hear the end of it. Why do women have smaller feet than men??

Shakt grin grew until it ate up his whole face. Eo they can stand closer to the kitchen sink when they do the washing-up.?

The joke was as bad as everyone expected, but it raised a laugh because the boys were already in a jovial mood. James managed a quick grin before he turned and caught the frosty look on Kerryt face.

Male chauvinist pigs,?Kerry snapped, as she pulled her feet off James?lap and faced him off with her hands on her hips.

Ney, I didn't tell the joke,?James said, raising his palms defensively.

Kerry glowered. But you laughed.?

There was a loud crack as she slapped James across the cheek.

Lesus, Kerry,?James said, raising his arms in front of his head to stop her getting another shot in. Keep things in proportion, why don't you??

Tour all better wipe those smirks off,?Kerry said, shooting thunderbolts at the other boys around the table. Then she zoomed in on Shak. Tou reckon sexist jokes are so funny? How would you feel if I sat here telling Paki jokes??

There was a tense silence as Kerry grabbed her food tray and steamed off. James sheepishly rubbed the stinging red mark on his face.

Callum and Bruce creased up as soon as she was out of sight. Did you hear that crack!?Callum yelled.

That was baaaad,?Bruce said, as he exuberantly slammed his hand against the table.

James turned sourly towards Shak. Thanks for winding my girlfriend up.?

So snogging for Mr Adams tonight,?Callum grinned.

The lads all snickered at James?expense.

T don't know what you're all looking so happy for,?James said. There have all your girlfriends got to tonight ?? Oh, wait, I remember. None of you losers have girlfriends.?

Tre got Naira,?Callum said.

Bruce laughed. Tou had two snogs and shet been away on a mission for six months.?

Etill counts,?Callum said, glowering at Bruce. Ehe e-mails me almost every day. Who have you ever snogged??

Tre kissed girls.?

James laughed. Like who??

Sot here,?Bruce said. Mut on missions and stuff.?

Everyone groaned because they didn't believe him: Bruce was shy around girls.

Ne snogs that little blue teddy he always sleeps with,?Shak giggled.

Biss off,?Bruce said angrily. And I don't sleep with Jeremy. He fell off that shelf over my bed one time and Kyle went and told the whole world.?

That the hell kind of name is Jeremy for a teddy??James smirked.

Teah,?Connor nodded. Tour at least think her snog a teddy with a girlt name.?

Bruce exploded out of his seat and glowered at Connor. Tanna try repeating that in five seconds when Ire punched all your teeth out??

James backed up his chair and grinned at his mates as he stood up. TEl leave you four pussies to sort your squabbles. Ir better be in my room when Kerry comes knocking.?

Tou reckon??Shak said. Thatt really gonna happen when she just cracked you one.?

T happen to have an ace up my sleeve,?James grinned. Little Miss Perfect is failing algebra. She needs my massive brain to sort out her Xs and Ys.?

Connor tutted. Tou're totally jammy, James. You always get lucky with girls.?

James looked smug as he walked away from the table. That can I say guys? Chicks can't resist me ?they're putty in my hands.?

*

James went up to his room, stepped over the dirty laundry and sat on his double bed reading the copy of Great Expectations his English teacher had inflicted on him. He was supposed to