CHERUB: Class A - Robert Muchamore Page 0,3

pink butts?’
James struggled to sit up, clasping his hands over his stomach. The pain was bad, but losing to the girls on a stupid training exercise hurt a hundred times more.
The powered garage door started rolling upwards. A huge man stood silhouetted against the moonlight. It was Norman Large, CHERUB’s head training instructor. He had the rottweiler on a leash at his side.
‘Well done, ladies,’ Mr Large shouted. ‘You’ve distinguished those pretty little heads on this one.’
Kerry and Gabrielle smiled. Mr Large stopped walking when his size fifteen boots were almost touching James’ leg. James put his hand over his face, shielding his nose from the growling dog’s rank breath.
‘That thing’s not gonna bite me, is it?’ James asked.
Mr Large laughed. ‘Luckily for you and Bruce, Thatcher has been trained to pin a man to the ground and never bite. Her brother, Saddam, now that’s a different question. He’s trained to sink his teeth in. We’d have been picking chunks of flesh off the lawn if you’d been up against Saddam. Unfortunately, the chairman banned me from using him … Anyway, James, get on your feet. Gabrielle, help that other little idiot to stand up.’
Bruce limped around the car, using the bonnet for support. The yellow paint from Gabrielle’s gun trickled down his legs. Both boys stood with their backs against the car. Mr Large hollered right in their faces:
‘Tell me everything you did wrong.’
‘I’m… not sure really,’ James shrugged.
Bruce looked down at the floor.
‘Let’s start at the beginning,’ Mr Large bawled. ‘Why did it take you so long to reach the villa?’
‘We jogged all the way,’ James said.
‘Jogged?’ Mr Large shouted. ‘If I’m being held hostage at gunpoint, I at least expect my rescuers to have the decency to run to my rescue.’
‘It’s boiling hot out there,’ James said.
‘I could have run,’ Bruce said, ‘but James was knackered after ten minutes.’
James gave Bruce a fierce look. Teams were supposed to stick together, not drop one another in it at the first opportunity.
‘Can’t manage a little ten-kilometre run, eh, James?’ Mr Large said, breaking into an evil grin. ‘Looks like you’ve let yourself get out of shape holidaying out here in the sunshine.’
‘I’m fit,’ James said. ‘It’s just the heat.’
‘So, because you took so long to arrive, it was dark when you got to the villa, making it much more difficult to survey. Not that it matters, because you didn’t do a proper survey anyway.’
‘I had a good look through the fence,’ James said, defensively.
Large banged his fist on the roof of the car.
‘That’s a survey, is it? What have you two been taught?’
‘Before entering hostile premises, always do a thorough survey, investigating the building from all sides,’ Bruce said mechanically. ‘If possible, climb a tree or go to higher ground and get a look at the layout of the building from above.’
‘If you remember what it says in the training manual, Bruce, why did you decide that a glance through the fence was sufficient?’
Bruce and James both looked sheepish. Kerry and Gabrielle loved watching the boys squirm.
‘If you’d done a proper survey, maybe you would have seen the dog kennel. Maybe you could have planned a proper entry and exit strategy, instead of crawling up to the house and hoping for the best. Then, once you’d recovered the hostages, you decided to escape using the car. Didn’t it occur to you that the car was the most obvious way to escape and was almost certainly booby-trapped? Or were you blinded by the prospect of lighting up the tyres and taking it for a spin?’
‘It did occur that it was obvious,’ James said.
‘So why did you try to escape that way?’ Large screamed.
‘I mean … But … I only realised right before I got shot.’
‘This has got to be the worst performance on a training exercise I have ever seen,’ Mr Large shouted. ‘You two have ignored every piece of training you’ve been given. If this was a real operation, you would have been killed ten times over. You’re both getting grade F and James, I’m putting you on an emergency fitness plan. Ten kilometres running a day and, as you’re so worried about the heat, I’ll let you start when it’s nice and cool. How does five in the morning sound?’
James knew better than to answer back, it only earned you push-ups. Mr Large stepped back and took deep breaths. His head looked like a redcurrant after all the shouting.
‘What grade did me and Gabrielle get?’ Kerry asked, using