The art of mending: a novel - By Elizabeth Berg Page 0,2

find something worse. Think something can never happen again? Wrong! History repeats itself—that’s what you can be sure of.” But we, like most children, did not resonate much to things beyond the day at hand. History had nothing to do with us.

My father also liked people-watching—he could sit for hours and stare at all the fairgoers who passed by him and feel perfectly entertained. He just got a charge out of people, their frailties and foolishness as much as their more admirable characteristics. I remember once lying in bed and overhearing an argument between my parents. This was a rare thing; they almost never crossed each other. But that night my mother was yelling: “Is everything just fine with you, then?” After a moment, I heard him say simply, Yes, everything was. An accusatory silence followed. I rose up on one arm and leaned toward my parents’ bedroom wall. I heard the ticking of my bedside clock; the movement of night air in the trees outside my window; then, finally, the even, comical sounds of my father snoring. I lay back down and fingered the buttons on my nightgown, and contemplated the disturbing possibility that my parents were not perfect.

On that day at the fair when I came back to the blanket, my mother was off with my brother and my sister was with a new neighbor her own age whom we’d brought along in the desperate hope that Caroline and she would become friends. My father was alone. I sat on the blanket beside his chair, and he gave my shoulder a little squeeze. Then he moved out of the chair to sit beside me. He looked at me for a long moment, then asked, “How are you doing, Laura?”

I held my hands out, palms up. “I spent it all.”

“Yes,” he said. “But I meant, how are you doing in general? Is there . . . well, how’s life treating you?”

I smiled. I thought he might be kidding. Sometimes he would ask me about politics in the same false and jocular way. “How about that Eisenhower?” he would say. And I would shrug and say, “I don’t know.” But his expression now was serious; he asked me again how I was, so I said, “Good, I guess.” Then, feeling this was not enough, I described my excitement at finding out I’d be getting the teacher I wanted that year at school: Mrs. Lindemeyer, who was old as the hills, and an easy grader.

My father nodded. “So you’re okay, then, are you? You’re happy?” The question was odd to me—I didn’t ever really think about whether or not I was happy—but I said yes. It seemed he was looking for something he couldn’t name and I couldn’t decipher, and the closest I could come to satisfying us both was for me to say I was fine; I was “happy.” He returned to his chair, and we sat in uneasy silence until the others returned.

My brother, his mouth rimmed with red from a candy apple he’d just eaten, had spent all his money too. My sister had spent none. I remember being astounded at this; angry, too, that Caroline would be left with so much when I now had nothing. “How can you have fun if you don’t even spend any money?” I asked her.

A pleated caramel-apple wrapper skittered by, and she captured it beneath her shoe. “I had fun.”

I snorted. “How?”

She looked up at me, an irritating calmness in her eyes. “I watched.” The new neighbor, Linda Carmichael, confirmed this: While Linda rose high up in the sky on the Ferris wheel, Caroline stood watching and waving from below.

“That’s retarded,” I said. I could tell Linda agreed with me, and I remember thinking that she and Caroline would never be friends; here was yet another opportunity Caroline had lost.

“You mind your own business, Laura,” my mother said quietly. That’s what she said when I told Caroline she was stupid not to eat the treats that were handed out at various classroom celebrations, too. Every time there was a party at school, Caroline ate nothing. No candy corn at Halloween, no message hearts on Valentine’s Day, no red- and green-sprinkled spritz cookies at Christmas, no garishly decorated cupcakes brought in because someone in class was having a birthday. Instead, anything she ever got she tented with paper towels and then carefully carried home on the school bus. As soon as she walked in the door, she presented it to my mother